Should i die!

Dear love of my life

       My left ankle started hurting in a new way, i can’t tell if the stress is gonna cause me a stroke or not i will try to find a way to unwind! 

Should i die, know my damn mental illness coupled by the demands of a few greasy old loosers that cant sleep with out their Tv blasting from 2 apartments over at night! coupled by the fact that even after three showers a day some days i still smell like me, is not what loves and needs you, its me that does not my illness but that wouldnt stop a scientist from saying its just a chemical reaction because it is that too, but simpley explain that you make me feel like i am home no mateer where i actually had to sleep westher it was a car or the streets or a park! You always had my emontionaly i do remember the first time you saw the uglier side of my family life that keeps trying to drug me because its best for them not me, i’m happy yah did, not because you rescued me or displayed you can talk me off a ledge.  but because unlike everyone else you never once felt the need to question my moral intent and just kept telling me “thats crazy you’re a good person” at every random reason i thought could be why i am going to jail or the hospital again! You told me i was one of the best people you ever met and how muxh i ment to you! 

A few days later i wasnt homeless anymore but it was harder then ever for us to see each other! 
Monsters and all not working and me not really wanting any kind of violence to happen around kids! And i’m still sorry to this day i didn’t just figure this out stupidly sooner! Sick of seeing abused women getting abused mentaly imprisoned and then not free to be them! 

So if for some reason i wind up dieing or in the hospital because other people say i aint a nice guy and it stresses me out because that brings out my hey who the fuck are you side! Well sorry, but my side i like and enjoy is me loving you! You loving me back, i won’t ever remove myself as your option to a better kind of life either but if i die! I love you and thats the way i died! And every night your the last thought i have because it takes me the whole day to feel well enough to think about you with a clear head!

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Published by: mitch fourtwenty

I write fiction, do street art, used to paint trains but that's really hard when your old, they just always seemed so dull and NY had better trains then we did with more color so i always liked throwing paint at my trains, I have one main blog which is my idea board which you are probably free to steel from just don't let me catch you with my more professional lawyers, I was depressed at one point in life because people kept pointing out i was different then them thanks, I guess i am, I don't fit in anywhere particular but I'm pretty happy because it seems like instead i fit in everywhere. I occasionally use grape vines to talk at some people, which are slow but un hack-able, I'm also my own medical researcher and a host of other nifty job titles i don't mind doing for myself it makes me happier each day! I am intelligent to the point where i'm hyper curious about things so i tend to ask alot of question about stuff if peole dont piss on me for having the super human ability of curiosity which keeps me learning despite a system that turned its back on me long ago, I still survive and write, one day i might go public but considering I'm probably wanted in my home town and don't even know it because i never got caught i don't often clue people in on who i am on earth, on the inter webs. while i have many masks that may seems scary even to some people I'm genuinely just a man making his community a better place to live for everyone he talks to that ever had a sad story who erased my metal ass face? I liked my metal face?

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