Buying marijuana, while shopping is not my favorite activity I do enjoy buying marijuana even from stores it turns out. I’ve been smoking weed longer than some people who read this blog have been alive. I spent a far amount of time from 2002-2009 learning every little thing I could about the little green nuggets of joy I don’t make money off of cannabis in any form so I’m not actually selling anything here. Why even write this, because I’m qualified and edumacated in stuff like consuming marijuana.
This isn’t a guide on what particular strain is best for [insert medical condition here]. This is not a which weed stores are the best guide. In fact I’m not even going to not mention a single strain or weed store by name in this entire guide. I will how ever be mentioning the type of stores to stay away from.By the end of it hopefully the average weed smoker comes away far more educated and annoying to people who don’t know what they are actually selling and are just cash grab empires.
A Lesson In Economics vs Your Ego
Who love’s big aluminum can sized buds, everyone duh! who love’s buying a pound and getting 25.6* grams of stems that’s a little to close to a Oz of loss kids and there used to be a day you’d be shot for that, now a days with the ever increasing legality of cannabis you’ll get the legal equivalent or should at least be getting sued . so buy the time you’ve bought a pound in what ever break down you buy your weed in you have successfully really fucked your bank roll to the tune of ruffly $250 if you buy by the gram it is less the more you buy. Who like the big nuggets now?
You see while big 1/8+ and up nuggets are awesome to pull out really all your doing is ripping yourself off to stroke your ego. The herb marketing department knows this, that why we always see those large buds pushed in cannabis trade magazines. You’re better off honestly not buying the stems winding up buying the same amount of weed you have been smoking all along and use your $250 to get a really sick pipe or dabbing rig, fuck it buy a class in something you enjoy the point is save that $250 don’t waste it.
Signs The People You Get Your Herbs From Are In It For Just The Money
One of these things doesn’t necessarily mean shit store. what your really looking for is a pattern of these occurrences consistently.
- Perlite, dirt or other growing mediums in the buds. This is a sign the quality control chain is funky and missed the sloppy harvest job in which buds where chopped down and allowed to hit the ground. A grower or trimmer who lets the nuggets hit the ground still has a lot of learning to do and if not corrected a true blight on the industry.
- Moldy Buds, this is the one thing on this list that if you come across in any store environment don’t wait for a pattern just stop going there.
- Staff isn’t able to answer question about the strains. You should always ask a few question every once in a while that you already know the answer too just to see if the staff is on the ball. Answers like “I don’t know but I will find out for you”, are acceptable consistent I don’t knows with no further educating themselves are not. Ask questions you want the answers too but don’t know after questions are always good theory lead to more knowledge.
- Staff talks smack about other places and generally has a narcissistic view of their store. I was in a place the other day where the person running the front desk had that view and despite their decent prices and quality product(which this store didn’t used too have) having that attitude clearly demonstrated the cash grab line “don’t go to those guys we are medical they aren’t” mentality. Honestly the whole divide between medical and recreational smoker will hopefully be closed as people are free to have preventative medical products and have fun as well. It’s not that some stores don’t deserve that label for having shit products it is the holier than thou qualifier of we are best.
- The store is not clean
- Doesn’t know what there extracts are made out of and wont find out.
- Doesn’t know what strain they are selling has one strain, don’t have a lot of experience with this in a store I have heard they exist/existed at one point or another, but really don’t make me laugh by calling this a store front, you’re not even a black market dude with that kind of selection.
Personal Preference Is Everything
The Medical effects are absolute, personal preferences differ from individual to individual. finding what exactly you like and works for you is a long journey sometimes. the good and the bad news is their are a lot of strains out there a lot of strains are better than others. over time you’ll figure out what you like and once you learn to look for great buds and not nasty moldy ones. this is one of the main reasons the I left out mentioning specific strains. Pretty much ask any of my friends what their favorite strain is and you will get a different answer from all of them.
Sativa, Indica a Note on Flowering Times and How They Effect What You Buy
When your talking flowering times sativa, indica, and hybrids all have different flowering times and when your smoking a great haze, that’s been flowered to true maturation and not cut early hold onto your underwear kids. that being said some sativa take 16 week+ to finish and it’s like a serious spiritual test of patience to even find those but well worth it. Indica on the other hand tends to average 8-9 weeks until the buds are just right to glue you to your couch for the duration of a long play of most video games. this is one of those questions that’s good to ask how long have these buds been flowered for? be skeptical if they harvested a sativa in 9 weeks. With in a week or so on either end of the perfect time to harvest or optimal if you prefer different effects are present with in the buds and can be more sedative or more energizing depending on when the plant is harvested.
Pre-rolled Joints Buyer Beware
There are very few places that don’t use leafy bottoms for the their pre rolled joints at least around BC(not something they very willingly admit too either). They usually are way over priced burn poorly and are a complete rip off. For instance wont name names but one store around hear charges $10 for a pre rolled joint that isn’t even a gram with the filter weight included, to top it off its bottoms and always taste nasty, i’ve actually started not smoking joints if my friends bring prerolls I’d rather not subject my lungs to complete crap. if you can’t roll learn if you can’t learn because you don’t have fingers(Yes despite some claims by people who have fingers, if you have these you can learn to roll) find someone who is nice and will roll you Medicines for you, either way avoid the pre rolled rip offs like the plague.
If you read that far here is a bud shot of atomical haze as a thank you although really the person you should be thanking is yourself for learning about the nastier side of the business practices of some cannabis shops. say no to crap.
*All math is based of the average stem weight of .2 grams in 1/8 sized nuggets, not every producer sells big stems with there herbs some people have a the decency and respect to break it down properly and not every pound is made exclusively of these nuggs unless some idiot requests it that way. in which case you can bet the next guys bag will be full of leafy fluffy ass nugs from the bottom of the plant, it’s also not every store that passes this onto the customer for the ones who do getting kind of sick of the idea me and other like me have to pay for your fuck ups.