Dis-organized, bi-polar and frustrated!

Life in a unending series of being dis-organized lately, the bi-polar is acting up and general frustration.

Finding yourself alone again and not really understanding what happened or if it is temporary. Even if it is temporary i really can’t afford to hold on to hope beyound she gets better. My need to be 24/7 fucked off my ass agianis back. Something that if i was to have a future with this woman would need to be gone by the time she waltzs back into my life. I have never had more fun then last time she did.

 

I’m not sure weather its mainia or a need to have my own life right now so I decided to go blow a bunch of money on some hobbies I’ve been meaning to get into or rather back into. Got a new model boat, decided  it’s also time to start paintong again and obviously I’ve resurected my retardly funny happy sad ranty slash artsy on ocassions blog.

I think she came hear today. Read my thoughts. My drunk rants and my crazy crap. I gotta work on my stuff if she reads this I hope she knows I still love her but I obviously have to work out my issues too, I do hope she gets better and if I havent completely self desctructed comes and looks me up. I really dont want to have to go find someone new. So I’ll work on my shit if she goes and is succesful in her rehab maybe the future works out.

 

This life will work out somehow in the end. I’m just not sure how anymore and am feeling lonelier then I ever have.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Published by: lumenuniverse

I write fiction, do street art, used to paint trains but that's really hard when your old, they just always seemed so dull and NY had better trains then we did with more color so i always liked throwing paint at my trains, I have one main blog which is my idea board which you are probably free to steel from just don't let me catch you with my more professional lawyers, I was depressed at one point in life because people kept pointing out i was different then them thanks, I guess i am, I don't fit in anywhere particular but I'm pretty happy because it seems like instead i fit in everywhere. I occasionally use grape vines to talk at some people, which are slow but un hack-able, I'm also my own medical researcher and a host of other nifty job titles i don't mind doing for myself it makes me happier each day! I am intelligent to the point where i'm hyper curious about things so i tend to ask alot of question about stuff if peole dont piss on me for having the super human ability of curiosity which keeps me learning despite a system that turned its back on me long ago, I still survive and write, one day i might go public but considering I'm probably wanted in my home town and don't even know it because i never got caught i don't often clue people in on who i am on earth, on the inter webs. while i have many masks that may seems scary even to some people I'm genuinely just a man making his community a better place to live for everyone he talks to that ever had a sad story who erased my metal ass face? I liked my metal face?

Categories 2016 writing, UncategorizedTags, , , , , , Leave a comment

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